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Establishing Trust

By Tom Stanfill

I was recently in New York on a business trip and needed a recommendation on a special restaurant to entertain a client that evening. So while enjoying my morning coffee I wandered over to the concierge desk to see what they had to say. As soon as “I need to entertain clients” left my lips, I was interrupted by the concierge with a recommendation to dine at the “perfect place”. She then began to grab a packet of brochures from the “perfect place” to dine and handed me one, while simultaneously dialing the phone and asking me what time should she make the reservation. I then interrupted her and said I’ll think about it.

For some reason I didn’t feel comfortable with this over-zealous recommendation and called a friend who lived in the area and quickly decided on the restaurant he recommended. Why didn’t I trust the concierge’s recommendation? Why did I trust my friend?

Relationship Determines Influence

As I reflected on this exchange, I was reminded of a key communication principle – relationship determines influence. I had no relationship with the concierge and therefore she had no influence. And because I did have a strong relationship with my friend, I never once questioned his recommendation. Does this mean we will never be successful in sales if we don’t have a prior relationship? Of course not, but we must remember that if relationship does drive influence we have to continually focus on not just communicating the value of our product and service but strengthening the relationship as well.

If the concierge would have understood this principle, she would have responded to me very differently. Instead of interrupting me with her “scripted”, generic recommendation, she could have communicated that her #1 focus was finding the perfect restaurant for me. Simply put, she didn’t establish a positive relationship because I didn’t trust her. She was focused on her agenda – promoting her predetermined restaurant for the “entertaining client” request (saving her time). It wasn’t that I didn’t “buy” her recommendation; I didn’t “buy” her. My friend was only interested in making sure I went to the right place. I wonder why we are friends.

Put It Into Practice Today

Remember that your motive is ultimately transparent to the customer. So today after every call, ask yourself these three simple questions:

• Was I focused on serving the customer or my agenda?
• Did I clearly communicate that my purpose was to help them?
• Did I see the customer as an individual with unique preferences, desires & concerns or did I assume I knew what was important to them – just like all my other customers?

If you raise your level of awareness and answer these questions on the next 20 calls, you will soon see your relationships improve and your recommendations embraced.

About Aslan

Aslan Sales Training is a global training and consulting firm that offers customized inside sales training, field sales training, and sales leadership development. For over 15 years, Aslan has helped internationally recognized brands, such as FedEx, Oracle, Xerox, GE, Apple and others, improve the performance of their sales reps and managers. Aslan recognizes that selling, managing customers, and prospecting over the phone require a unique skill set. As a result, the company has developed a total solution that includes hiring strategies, transitioning managers into coaches and leaders and improving overall performance.